CFB Un-Censored

Good evening, everyone.

I thought it would be cool — and very interesting — to sit the kids down separately and ask them a few questions about college football. Eleven was used since that is how many players are on a field at one time (unless you are Kentucky against Florida at home last year and 10 is your number of choice)

So, here goes nothing.

Eli — age 9 — and HesterGrace — age 8 — tackle questions about the greatest game of all time.

Question 1: Describe your dream uniform for game day.

Eli — Long pause — Covington on the back. #1 because I am the number one pick. Then, playing for the Patriots.

HG — Like this cute garnet shirt with Gamecocks on it. Then, on the back it says team Gamecocks. And it is in glitter — the words — and black outline.
Question 2: What does the name Nick Fitzgerald mean to you?
Eli — Mississippi State QB. HG probably said “Suzi’s boyfriend.”

HG — Suzi’s boyfriend. That is all I know.

Question 3: If you had to describe the Clemson Tigers in one sentence what would you say?

Eli — Better scouting and better recruiting — probably.

HG — Clemson boo — Clemson is trash — kinda.

Question 4: If you had to choose one position to play (offense / defense or special teams) what would you choose and why?

Eli — Can I choose one for all 3? Free safety — you get to scout the offense and determine if the play is a run or a pass.

HG — Runner back because they, um, are tough — they beat them up and run straight through people.

Question 5: Watch your team’s game live or watch all the day’s games on tv at home?

Eli — Watch your teams game live. At the stadium. Listen to other games on radio and watch on tv at the tailgate and get it on your phone as well in the stadium.

HG — Watch all the games at home.

Question 6: If you were the president over all of CFB, what would you change?

Eli — No kneeling during the national anthem (that is mostly being talked about on the news that I have heard for the NFL) and probably, um, this is harder than I think — I would put it to 5 downs.

HG — I would change (thinking) if you are the runner back and you are running toward the end zone and someone tackles you outside the end zone and you drop the ball it is still a touchdown.

Question 7: What do the LSU Tigers mean to you?

Eli — Gosh, that is hard — I don’t want to say anything harsh. It is the meaning of college football — some years they are the UCLA of college basketball and some years they are the Tennessee of college basketball. The Vols can’t find a point guard like LSU can’t find a QB.

HG — Everything. Family and that’s it.

Question 8: Who is the craziest person about CFB in your family?

Eli — Oh in my family, would be easier in the whole world but I was about to say — I was about to say to mommy but she doesn’t get as harsh as daddy. Ok, lets go — I would probably say that its this one time I would say Mom because she still says what the commentators said at the 2013 Iron Bowl, “He is going to take it back all the way and Auburn is going to win the football game.” Mommy called that win so she gets it.

HG — My brother. Wait, all the boys in my family.

Question 9: Listen to your dad sing the national anthem at the CFB National Championship Game and get free sideline passes OR watch it at your house with a random celebrity singing the National Anthem?

Eli — Definitely the first one. No explanation but his (Daddy) war cry is terrible and at the national championship game so I can’t hear him over the fans.

HG — (Oh my goodness…) Watch it at the house definitely. The only place he (Daddy) is allowed to sing is in the bathroom.

Question 10: If CFB did not exist how would you react and what would you do with your new, free time?

Eli — I would faint and a have heart attack and Daddy would take me to the emergency room. I mean CFB is the depth of college — why do you think they have student sections at those games? The students at that college love football — when you take football away it is like taking family away. It brings people together.

HG — Read a book and then I would react kinda good kinda bad. My brother would stop running around the house playing football. My dad would stop singing the national championship in the bathroom. I would also feel bad for the Gamecocks.

Question 11: If I say USC Gamecocks, what say you?

Eli — Uh, say that in English, please. What does that mean? Bigger stadium, I am not finished. I am not finished — please don’t type that — more step up in recruiting and scouting — probably. And last but not least — cooler uniforms.

HG — Lets Go Gamecocks! Smash and crush the Clemson’s face and then put them in the trash. And win the NFL. Then, (pause) did they win the NFL already? Well, win it again.

There you have it, folks. No assistance or guidance from me or anyone else. I hope you enjoy – I know I sure did.

Until next time…